Going against the Grain

It’s been too long since I have posted anything (darn being busy always getting in the way!!) but I wanted to share some things that I have come across recently and hopefully this will get me back into posting.

This is an old article but I was just recently pointed to it by a friend of mine.

http://www.prisonplanet.com/is-free-thinking-a-mental-illness.html

We were having a discussion about Atheism (my friend is religious) and my friend pointed out that there is treatment for someone like me now. I was stunned, which kept me from saying the many things that I should have said and instead the conversation ended. I know that my friend was trying to be helpful and was not trying to be totally insensitive but I could not help but picture the reaction that I would get if I suggested to her that she be medicated because of her beliefs. I continue to wonder why people think this sort of comment is ok, however I was more stunned to learn that she was somewhat right. Freethinking has now been classified as a mental illness and there is treatment available – is anyone else terrified by how this can (and probably will be) mis-used. I get these sort of off the cuff remarks often, and I am expected to just brush them off, but I am also expected to not make such remarks that would offend them. another one was at a restaurant with a different friend (maybe I need better friends?) talking about my husband and how we want to improve out life and see the world and my friend responds “but your both Atheist, so what is the point?” My only response was to say “I think we have more of a point to life than you do, but I’m going to pretend that was a joke and not get into it” and the conversation was dropped.

Around the same time as these conversations my husband and I have also been discussing our life and what we want out of life, and we have settled on an open marriage as being best for us. Our main concern in sharing this with people is that now we really are going to get the stereotype of Atheist’s who have no morals, and we get enough problems with that already. We are discovering that doing what makes you happy when it is not what is accepted as the norm all of a sudden becomes really hard and that really takes away from the potential for being happy. Why is it not ok that I happen to be bisexual, and Atheist among other things, or that I do not want children and we do want an open marriage. These are my choices and none of them hurt anyone,  in fact these choices have been made after a lot of searching for what would make us the most satisfied and happy but since they conflict with what is seen as normal then they must be wrong, and there must be something wrong with us. People tell me not to worry what other people think and that is great in theory but there is no way it is actually possible – not only will everyone give you an opinion but often times people go out of the way to impose what they think you should be and tend to cause more of a mess then anyone needed. I think that if anything is a mental illness it would have to be not being able to accept that people are different and trying to force your idea of happy on everyone else.

 

Indoctrination

A friend of mine was just recently introduced to the movie Jesus Camp in a class and it got me thinking about Childhood Indoctrination again – this is a topic that comes up from time to time but since I do not have children and I am not usually around children often the ideas tends to get forgotten. I am still always surprised when a child tells me that they know about Religion, and then even more surprised when they do not know much about the world around them.

(If you have not seen the documentary you can watch it here: http://www.hulu.com/watch/337498)

I would like to first say that this film scared the crap out of me the first time I saw it. I had to pause the movie and come back because I got so upset I had trouble watching the whole thing. Obviously I knew that Religious belief  starts at a young age, but I had not thought much about the kind of life that set up for the children. I was fortunate enough that while my mom was Religious she was not very outspoken about it, I went to Church and Sunday school but it was not until I was put in Catholic School in 7th grade did I really start to take a hard look at Religion. Up until that point I had assumed that everyone knew about Religion, and Church was not a bad place to go and have sleep-in retreats and activities but I never thought that anyone took it all seriously. For me God was like Santa and I assumed that everyone grew out of it. I learned very quickly that I had been wrong and I started asking a lot of questions and I began exploring and “trying out” various different religions. This did not endear me to my classmates and needless to say I was not very popular. When I finally reached college I took Religion classes right away – I had to learn more, there was and is something about Religious belief that fascinates me and I want to find out how people can believe. It was this desire to find out why and how people believe that I came to learn about Indoctrination.

As someone who likes to learn I was immediately concerned with the effects that only knowing one point of view could have. I did more research and started to get interested in the Evolution vs Creationism debate in schools. I should have at this point been beyond surprise but I was not – I was blown away that this debate was on going. Knowledge is the most important tool that anyone can have, and it still makes me sad that this is with held from so many children because it does not agree with Religion. How can we expect the future generations to do great things if many of them will not grow up understanding how the world works? They will grow up not learning to question and investigate and I think that is terrifying and dangerous. I want future world leaders to be smarter than me, smarter than everyone – not to lean on Belief but to rely on Proof. How else can they be expected to be efficient leaders?

As I moved through my college years I also became more active in politics and began to develop an interest there as well. I had not gone looking for Religion in Politics because I had been sure that Separation of Church and State was not an issue so I focused on other issues that interested me. Once again I was surprised, every issue seemed to have a Religious based debate – every candidate had to profess religious faith. Of course they usually profess the same faith – the dominant faith. I have found that of course this is the same with most adults. Every person that I have met who is extremely devout is the same faith that they were raised in and for the few that are not the same I have noticed a few things, either the family was not very Religious to begin with, the child has changed from very devout to a bit less so, or the change has come at great cost to the family and is often a point of stress. I have met people that hide what they believe from family members because they do not want to tear apart the family.

Part of me feels that this sort of change should not be hidden from your family, that the love of a family should be such that it is ok to be your own person and that instead of causing problems the family would just learn something new and move along. I do realize though that the way I think it should be is not the way that it often turns out. Somehow faith is so strong that it can over power the natural instincts of a family to love one another and to be happy. I think that in order to change Indoctrination and Religious fundamentalism the key lies here – this absolute strength has to be shaken and even Religion were to stick around the world would certainly be a better place if the certainty, hatred and fear were to be removed.

How would such a task be accomplished? This does not strike me as an individual issue – I think that this is a societal problem. Religious people expect everyone else to also feel the same way that they do. People are always surprised when they meet me and then later find out that I am an Atheist. However, this is exclusively a religious problem. Whenever a political topic or any topic of interest comes up most people tend to try and gauge where the other person stands before they get too into discussion. There is a caution that is taken because no one assumes that everyone will agree. I know many families that the children grew up to be a different political party, and while election time dinner conversations can get awkward no on is afraid of tearing the family apart. The special status of Religion to assume that everyone knows you are right, and the special exemption from discussion that these ideas try to hold is the first step in creating a more accepting system.

I have just recently (in the last few years) become aware of another problem with Indoctrination. I learned about hell and sin as a young adult and since I had nothing to base these ideas on I was not affected. I never worried about upsetting God or getting sent to Hell. I did not have to learn the terrible stories of the Bible until I was in High School. It seems to me that Indoctrinating children places a terrible burden on them. They have to worry about pleasing parents and not straying from the path which can inspire fear and guilt. However, greater than that is the fear of upsetting God and going to hell. There is a scene in Jesus Camp where the children are asked if they are doubters at school or if they do bad things when no one is around and they children are told that God is always around. Many of the children start crying, one boy in the film cries often because he says he has a hard time with faith. Children have enough to deal with just learning how to navigate life and who they are – it is too much to try and ask them to also navigate this mess of belief and faith that they can’t possibly understand.

Now, to make it clear I am not advocating that children be brought up Atheist, I think that they should be allowed to decide for themselves. Talk to our children about what you believe and sure take them to Church but do not make them pray or recite or fear. Let them learn that other Religions exist and if they want to explore that they should be allowed. Answer the questions that they have instead of getting upset. Then when they get old enough they can decide it they want to join the faith or not. I must have tried on 5 different Religions before I finally settled on none. My mom was not the happiest (especially in my Wiccan phase) but she let me explore and she tried to support me that is the greatest gift I could have asked for. I got to learn about people and the world in my own way.

Children do not need to grow up with guilt and shame. They do not need fear to keep them in line, Children should be proud of who they are becoming and look at all the options they have with excitement. Children do not need to be saved or born again (they were just born not all that long ago after all) they have not even begun to do bad things or good things yet and the children that do begin to become bad or good should do so because that is who they are and not because they are afraid. “With or without religion, good people can behave well and bad people can do evil; but for good people to do evil — that takes religion.” Steven Weinberg

In other news….

Several things that have happened recently that I want to bring attention to. I am going to mention them in the order in which they happened.

The first was the start of the court hearing about gay marriage. While the verdict will not be until June I was impressed by the show of support on social media.

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/technology/2013/03/facebook-photo-uploads-double-for-hrcs-equal-sign/

On top of this I only saw a few of my friends posting anti-gay pictures. Now I am sure that lots of anti-gay non sense was shared and I just was happily spared because of the friends I have but I was still pleased. It makes me proud to be part of a time that is fighting for change. According to the data people around 30 or in college towns were the ones who had the highest rate of change, and it encourages me to see the up and coming generation coming out in support of these issues.

This sort of thinking that children raised by same sex couples is child abuse and similar ideas is very quickly being exposed to be the thinking  borne of religion and the excuses outside of religion are scarce. Some examples. (11 out of the 20 photos mention God specifically.)

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/young-people-who-believe-marriage-should-be-between-a-man-an

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The next issue that many people would not have even noticed is 3 bloggers in Bangladesh were arrested for being Atheist.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/03/bangladesh-bloggers_n_3009137.html

These three people spoke about about religion and they were taken to jail on charges of blasphemy. I know that these sort of laws are still around, but I was still surprised to see this sort of thing happen in modern day. I have to say that I felt like a bit of a coward, here people are risking life and freedom to speak out for change and I will keep my mouth shut at work when someone super religious is saying stupid things just because I don’t want to cause trouble at work. I am inspired by fellow Atheists who have been hurt or arrested because they speak out.

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Lastly, the most recent event happened today.

http://www.theatlantic.com/infocus/2013/04/femen-stages-a-topless-jihad/100487/

This topless Jihad had something like two dozen Femen activists protesting the threats against Amina who caused a stir by posting a topless photo online. These women were also protesting Islamism in general and the way that women are expected to behave and be treated. I support these women fully, women should be able to dress however they want and to express themselves however they want.

I have heard responses to the protest today saying that being topless is not a protest, and they were just being rowdy. I don’t agree – sometimes to get attention to an issue you have to be loud. If someone is screaming at you the only way to be heard at all is to scream back. However I will agree that feeling like you have to show a lot of skin is just as unfair as being forced to cover up. Neither was to dress is better, I have known women that fell more comfortable dressing modestly and women who love to wear as little as they can get away with. Being confident and comfortable is what is important, feeling as though you are noticed and valued no matter how “sexy” or “modest” you are is important.

There is a lot that could be said on all of these issues, but what kept coming to mind for me was I can’t believe that this sort of thing still happens today. Really? This is 2013 with all that we know and all the great advancements that people have made these ideas are outdated and protests and movements like this should no longer be needed, we should be well past all this. However, since these Religious issues are still dragging people back I am glad that there are people that are still willing to stand up and be brave and fight. I continue to be inspired by such people and keep working on myself so that I can count myself among them at some point.

What a Win looks like.

I was watching a video with Christopher Hitchens, Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris talking and the Question was asked what is the end game of debating religion- what does a win look like? Then two other things happened that prompted this post. First was a comment on a previous post that mentioned trying to de-convert people and where I stand, and then at work there was a conversation about hating religion and why I have a BA in religion if I am an atheist.

I may seem like an in your face Atheist that must be yelling at everyone and telling them that they are stupid. However, this is not the case. I created this blog so I could have a space that I can express my thought and feelings because in my regular everyday life I do not tend to express these thoughts (I think them, but I to keep my mouth shut). The same with Facebook or any other outlet, I may get upset but I will just grumble while I scroll passed a post and I leave the friend or family member alone. I also will not post or share any anti-religious or Atheist material so I do not offend anyone. (Although I will “like” certain things) The only “action” that I take is that I am open about being an Atheist.

Having said where I stand in my day to day life I have been giving some thought to being a braver more outspoken Atheist. I get told all the time that I need Jesus, that I need faith. I have to put up with and respect what other people say and post so why am I so afraid to make people put up with me?

The one time that I said anything was the holidays – I posted a photo of my tree decorated and said “Our yule-tide tree all decorated!” and right away I got responses about making it a Christmas tree and for the rest of the season posts like “It’s Merry Christmas not Happy Holidays” were directed at me.

Further, at work the extremely devout employee expects the schedule to work around his church needs, expects it to be ok when he tells people to follow the Bible or that the way they live is wrong, expects it to be ok to challenge the music on the radio because it does not exalt God but at the same time everything offends him and everyone else has to watch what they do or say if he is around.

Why do so many people think that it is alright for the religious to constantly try to convert others and to wear what they believe openly, but if an Atheist does the same they are offensive and should keep it to themselves. Just let people believe what they want, but Atheists are the only ones that are told to do this – if two different religions meet they are not going to be told to just be accepting they are allowed to think that they are right.

Let me try to explain it this way – If you had a friend who joined an adamant Big Foot group would you accept that? Perhaps you would be-grudgingly accept it but I imagine that your “eccentric” friend would not be going to many more parties. It turns out that people who have crazy theories are not the same kind of people that get invited to social events. Why is this? Well it is disturbing to be around someone who does not have a grip on reality. If this same friend began going on Big Foot hunts regularly and started to devote large amounts of life to this group would that make you happy? I would say no. I would be sad if my friend was wasting life searching for something that is not there.

However I want to make an important point. If religion was like a Big Foot group then it wold be ok, you can have whatever crazy belief you want if you keep it to yourself. However this is where Big Foot is actually better than religion, because religion is incompatible with being kept quiet. No other group gives you instructions for how to live, how to think , how to act, or how to treat others. No other belief system opposes reason, science, human rights and progress. No other belief has a consequence like ETERNITY in torment – by it’s very nature having such specific instructions and such dire punishment requires this belief to be in the forefront of living. (and in case it is not obvious No belief system should be allowed to have any of those things. This is why we can all agree that cults are bad.) This is where a Big Foot group would be preferable to Religion because believers are constantly looking for proof. Imagine that, even they know that no one will believe them without proof (why should anyone?) and so they keep relatively quiet until they can prove why they are right. That is a belief that I do not have to agree with, but that I can accept.

So after much thought I decided that for me a win would actually be de- conversion. Would I ultimately want no more religion? Yes. Empty Churches? Yes. (Although they would make great museums or libraries maybe they could be converted.) I would call it a win for all Religions to be put on the mythology shelf. All the music and art and architecture can still be beautiful art and can still be appreciated but I think that the world would be a better place if myths were just myth. There is a small part of me that worries about the large amount of people that claim to only be good because of Religion, but I think that if current Atheists can be good without God then so can most of the rest of the world.

Some Thoughts…

I found this quote today, and it made me think right away of what I just posted about religious believers inadvertently aiding in the overall damage of the religious structure, about the frustrating nature of inaction and what could be accomplished if there was an emphasis on taking responsibility and taking action.

A good read of the Bible (Old or New Testament), Qur’an, and Buddhist teachings among others HAS to show this point. The biggest problem many Atheists have with believers is the “pick and choose” way that they read Holy Scripture. There is an abundance of terrible teachings and the encouragement of horrible deeds and yet somehow it is ok to condone this system for the good parts, but when an Atheist takes the opposite approach and condemns this system for the bad parts well then they must be wrong? Hitler did some good things for Germany for a while, does that make him a good guy? Well…He was a firm Christian so the logic could follow that way.

The other picture I found:

I talked about this in my last post as well, but now that I want to be blogging I have been looking to get a collection of quotes and images (after all an all text blog would be terribly boring).Think about the idea of what someone could do if all the fervor put into Religion was put elsewhere, I do not think that people who are devout and single minded are that way because the belief in God is that compelling, I think that some people are inclined to give themselves wholly over to what they believe in and when Religion finds them they do so. Imagine if something else were the object of all this time, effort and money.

Two hands working can accomplish more than a hundred clasped in prayer. Think of a Prayer Vigil for victims of any tragedy – all the time and money spent organizing this event and then the event itself. Couldn’t all this effort be put into a volunteer program for the victims or the families? Or a program to research how to prevent further tragedy?

After all how would it accomplish anything to ask the being that created the problems to then fix them, wont that go against the divine plan that we are not supposed to mess with? I don’t think I can understand the point of this, if someone hurt me or made me sick they are probably the last person that I would go to for help in getting better.

A Little Disclamer and Intro

This is a PRO Atheism blog. If having Religion and it’s beliefs questioned and refuted offends you, and you do not wish to be offended then you have stumbled upon the wrong page and should navigate away now. If you choose to stay and interact then realize that you chose to do so. I made this blog because I wish to share my ideas and have conversations, but I refuse to FORCE my beliefs on others, so I settled upon a medium where a “listener” can turn away without anyone making them listen.

Religion is Something that I have always been interested in, I have always asked questions and tried to grasp why and how it all works. I went to Catholic school from 7th grade until I graduated and still had questions, so to that end I got a BA Degree in religious studies (studying at 2 different universities). No one has been able to satisfactorily give me reason when presenting religion, but I still to this day find the topic fascinating. However, I also find that as I am getting older my fascination is being matched by frustration. I am increasingly growing less able to give religion a free pass and just let it be. 

I used to be able to live and let live, I thought that religion was just a belief system that served as a comfort and guide to many and that as such should I should do my best not to offend anyone and let people believe. I am revising that opinion. Why am I changing my mind? A large part of the reason that I am changing my mind is that I can no longer turn a blind eye to the harm religion causes, and I am realizing that even if a believer does not directly support this harm and professes that those who do are not “true” believers they are not seeing the whole picture. I can not support or tolerate a belief structure that encourages or allows repressing people, hurting people, lying, stagnation or inaction. If they are not directly involved religious followers still aid in these behaviors with financial support either by donations or purchases and spread the message by giving attention to speakers, preachers, broadcasts, music and any other source of religious information.

Beyond the direct and obvious harm of war, murder, rape and slavery and the hatred that religions have caused I get frustrated by the refusal to adapt and to act. As an example whenever I hear of someone who is in need of help and someone responds “I’ll keep you in my prayers” I want to scream at them to DO Something. All the time and energy spent praying, going to Church to ask a Deity for help, or reading a Holy Book for answers could be spent actually helping RIGHT NOW not waiting for intervention. If all the millions of believers put that energy and devotion into taking action – making this world a better place rather than praying for it or lamenting that it can not be because there is a lack of faith then there could be a real difference. If people could stop arguing about which book has the right stories and look for proof to back up ideas then perhaps there could be beliefs that everyone could agree on. The circular logic and the inability to back down or change a belief makes religion infuriating – Trying to teach peace and love through stories of hate or violence makes for a strange and often dangerous view on moral superiority that still allows for plenty of hate and pain. As an extra frustrating bonus, there is always asking for forgiveness and repentance if it turns out that you were wrong or if someone gets hurt. An Atheist does not have that luxury, they have to live with the choices they make always and if those choices are bad then they have no one to forgive them, no way to make it alright. Where is that sense of personal responsibility in religion and why is the lack of such a good thing?

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As a last note this blog will talk mostly about Religion and God(s) and probably focus mostly on Christianity because I live in the U.S and that is the predominant faith that I encounter. I will also make posts about topics that are related to religious beliefs but may not be religion and if/when I do so I will include an explanation of why I am making the post and how it relates to religion and Atheism (at least how I feel it relates, this is a blog after all which means my OPINION.)

Here is hoping to meet and talk with open minded people, Atheists or Believers. 

Threatening comments will not elicit a response from me, I do not have the time or energy to waste.